Be back soon!

Dad's first day of six in respite today and I have to think how to spend the time.  He goes to a Day Centre every Wednesday from 9.30 a.m. until after 2 p.m.  This respite stay is a little longer than usual as it's offering me time that I couldn't have when I needed during my mother's hospital stay.  Being away from home from Tuesday put me in a bit of a dilemma.  I know my dad gets a lot out of his Day Centre and enjoys the company and activities. So I decided to get up and go and fetch him and drop him off.  He was told that I was coming to pick him up so he was waiting in the lounge watching TV as I arrived.  The girl in charge said his name and he turned around to see me.  "Oh it's a relative!" he said, and laughed.  People might think that this is him being humourous but actually this is is way of getting around the fact that he can't remember my name or which relation I am.  He puts his arms out for a hug and already makes his way to exit the room saying "Cheerio!"  The first thing I notice is that he has all the same clothes on that he arrived in yesterday.  😠 

My dad can present himself well as someone who is more than capable of seeing to his own needs.  I am lucky as his carer that he is not incontinent (yet) and manages to toilet himself without issue...except that he never washes his hands.  His instability has become a gradual problem and he has to be made aware of how to dress safely which means he shouldn't be left on his own to do this.  Every (EVERY) morning I have to tell him to sit down while I dress him and I have the routine down to a T.  I leave all of this clothes laid out and ready for when he leaves the bathroom from his shower...part dressing him in there before he exits.  Always, always, always he will stand and lift one leg, bend over and try and put a foot through his pants or into a sock...almost hopping!  The flooring in the bathroom is polished tiles and if he were to fall in there he would split his head open and break more than a bone or two.  Looking after someone with dementia means constant risk assessment.  The risk of me throttling him is high on the list.

Already I'm bothered at him being away.  I took him to his Day Centre and went home to have a shower and tidy myself up.  I made arrangements to go and visit my cousin tomorrow.  I will look forward to the journey and a chance to have a proper chat about family stuff and all that has gone on these past weeks without having to disguise any feelings.

I made a few trips to the local tip to offload more black bags filled with junk...moving my house into this house, I've had to be quite brutal in deciding what I want as opposed to what I actually need.  This is all I did during the time my dad was at the Day Centre.  When I went to collect him to return him to the Care Home, he got confused.  "Home for a cup of tea." he said.  "No dad, I'm taking you back to the Care Home.  You're staying there until Monday.  It's just for a wee break." I repeated.

"I thought I was going home." he said, with that look on his face that I have to ignore otherwise I'd be throwing treats at him like I do Poppy (the dug) when she does the same!  It's that guilt trip expression.  I bloody hate it.

We talked about the trip to Blackpool coming up very soon.  I mention it as much as possible to cheer him up and he says more than once how he is looking forward to it.  I drop him off at the Care Home and he just wants to stay in his room.  Before I leave I lead him to the bathroom and put toothpaste on his toothbrush and ask him to clean his teeth.  At least I know this has been taken care of for today.  I leave him sitting in his comfy chair where he will probably snooze until dinner time.

I had a word with the Office about his clothes.  I also apologise for the fact that I am turning into a possessive child...but seriously, change his pants!!

So that's it...until Monday.

Tonight I have accomplished....nothing.

Tomorrow I will accomplish...nothing.

I am so bloody tired and just need to sleep.  I still sleep on my chair bed in the living room even though there is a perfectly good bed in the only bedroom.  I just can't use it.

Tomorrow I will wake up fresh as a daisy and decide what I'm going to do to have some 'me' time.

I'll maybe just phone and see how he is....