Ten out of ten

Yesterday, dad and I enjoyed having the company of a friend whose birthday it was.  I planned to make a special dinner and of course a small cake.  Nothing fancy, but you can't have a birthday without cake...not in this house at least!

I told dad in the morning to expect a guest who was going to celebrate his birthday with us and that we'd be going out for a spot of lunch and perhaps do a bit of shopping.  Any opportunity to go out, dad is happy.

With my friend due to arrive soon, I set out his birthday gift and card.  Dad watched me do this and asked, "What's that?"  

"It's  Douglas's present dad," I replied.  "He's coming to pick us up in a wee while...take us out...it's his birthday today."

"Is it?" he said.  "Very good."

Douglas arrived.  "Hello!" said dad.  "How are you doin'?"

I handed Douglas his gift bag and as he said his 'thanks', he turned to dad and made some joke about his age....his own that is...not my dad's!  Anyhoo...Dad looked a wee bit confused so I said, "It's his birthday dad."  "Is it?" he said, and smiled.  Throughout the day there were several mentions of the birthday which was responded to with "Is it?" every...single...time.  The most classic response late in the day was, "Is it?  I never knew that.  That's the first I've heard of it."

This was going to be a long day...I could tell!

It was so nice for me to have the extra company yesterday even though it was short lived.  There is no such thing as a private and personal life for me at the moment.  This is something that I cannot dwell upon too much.  My dad is my priority.  It's not his fault that he needs all of me.  This whole new life makes me more thankful than ever for moments made special.  I'll take time for me soon when my dad goes in to respite...it is just so bloody difficult to 'let go' and switch off.  It's like having a child all over again...only worse!

Today is Wednesday and I got dad ready for his usual visit to the Day Centre.  I said my farewell then stepped into the Office to have his 6 monthly review.  Listening to what they had to say was quite a contrast to previous comments.  Just two months ago my dad's diet was very poor.  This was a concern for the Centre then but I explained how the situation was about to change and that I would be making sure he ate well when he was at home...with me.

His mild manner was also mentioned although if he sees another client being disrespectful to the staff he is quick to vocalise his abhorrence!  He is now taking part in activities that he hasn't shown an interest in before.  The biggest improvement is his diet.  Although his portions are always small, he is finishing what is put in front of him most days.  His mobility is no concern to them and I'm told that he wanders around most of the time without using his walking stick.  🙈 

I can't babysit my dad.  The ladies at the Centre are lovely and dad is able to engage in a conversation about his day (kind of) when I pick him up.  This is something else that he didn't really do before.  All these little changes are big...HUGE...for my dad.  His circumstances have changed dramatically although he is oblivious to the cause.

I wish I was.

Tomorrow I'll be packing a suitcase to take us off on our short break to Blackpool.  He is extremely excited about this...when I remind him that we are going.  I can't wait to see his face when we get there.  The Tower, lights, sounds of the sea.  All very nostalgic.  It's going to be bittersweet for sure but so worth it.  He deserves to be cared for.

Today I feel proud.  Proud of my dad...

...and me.