I managed to spend some precious time with my grandchildren this week. They live in Maidstone, Kent which means I can't just pop in when I feel the need. I organised dad's respite so that he could be looked after from Monday to Friday. This isn't a regular time slot as I choose to have him cared for over a weekend...one per month. But I've juggled days so that I could take myself off and stock up on cuddles from the littles. The time wasn't long enough, but I soaked up every second...til next time.
I picked dad up this morning.
"G'bye John. See you next time," said the carer.
"I hope I'm not back too soon," dad said.
I told the carer that he would soon change his tune when he got into the car. Sure enough just minutes later when I asked him if he enjoyed his stay, he said, "Oh aye, it's a great place to be."
"They look after you well dad," I said.
"Oh aye," he said. "They do." 😊
Back to familiarity. He's a happy bunny. Tomorrow I'll start his routine off with his shower. I'll wash his back as I always do and he'll raise his arms for me to reach into his armpits with the soaped up scrunchy.
"Tickle-ickle!" I'll say, in a high pitched voice which makes him laugh, usually followed by him saying, "ya daft bat! You do that every time!"
Last week I had a lot on my mind. Nothing to do with my dad, but sometimes other things are going on and my concentration lapses when I'm dealing with dad. One morning he just needed a wash at the bathroom sink. As he stood holding onto the edge of the sink, he raised one arm for me to wash his armpit and I did so with the soaped up scrunchy as usual. He raised the other for me to repeat the wash.
"You never said tickle-ickle!" he complained.
It made me laugh that he remembered and also that the fun obviously meant so much.
"I'm saving it for when I do your roll on deodorant," I said, trying to back track.
I dried him off and applied the deodorant saying "tickle-ickle!" in my high pitched tone.
"Away ya daft buggar," dad laughed. "You do that every time!"
He already forgot that I forgot!
I redeemed myself...I won't forget again.
.....................................................
Dad's a bit tired today. It's normal when he's been away. I know he'll be glad to be in his own bed tonight. He's spent the day with his feet up, watching 'you know who' and nodding off now and again.
I have a framed photo of his wedding day alongside one of my mother and him on their 50th wedding anniversary sitting on a corner table by the door leading to the hallway. As he made his way off to the bathroom, he pointed to the photo and asked, "Who's that *braw couple there?" *lovely
"That's you dad," I answered.
He picked up the photo for closer inspection then he offered it to me to take a look.
"We look really braw there don't we?" he said.
I held the photo frame and pointed to the woman. "That's not me dad," I told him. "That's my mother...your wife."
He furrowed his brows as he took another look.
"I'm your daughter," I continued.
I reminded him that he had spent 63 years with my mother. I could have added "until she passed" but decided not to.
He replaced the photo frame and continued on his way to the bathroom...confused, but smiling.
Dad may have forgotten you in this life mother but Vicky and I have not. I took part of you with me to Maidstone so your granddaughter can find your next forever place.
Keep a watchful eye...I would appreciate it.
Very much.
x
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